It is important to understand that in life, many people want to ride with you when you are in the limo; but what you really want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.
Often times, our ‘limo’ does not just break down, sometimes it crashes. During that period you are not cruising luxuriously through life in your limo, rather you are doing your best to crawl from point A to B without breaking down yourself. You start to realize even more so, the complex, beautiful, fragile, and priceless value of real, genuine, consistent friendship.
A few people who you thought would walk you home, sort of, disappeared. They may have jumped off at their desired station, and you need to understand that it is all right; you can only truly wish them well.
Others will not only run to your bus, but also jump straight on, and continue to walk you home every single day. These people take the time to check in on you, hold your hand, let you cry, bring you food, make you laugh, and ensure you have enough love to keep on going through the day.
I have these friends and I am deeply thankful to have them on my journey.
Here are some insights about people, relationships, and friendships from my bumpy limo ride that might be useful and comforting for you in your own interactions…
Two People Can Look At The Exact Same Situation And See It Completely Differently
I have always believed this, and I’m even more sure of this after hearing my friends repeatedly tell me how in awe they are of my unwavering strength and optimism, even when I have never felt more fragile, insecure, helpless, or scared. Perception is everything.
There are times we secretly wish people would stay exactly how we want them to be or how we met them but I’ve come to realise that we as humans are designed to grow. We are allowed to. I am learning to give myself permission to grow and change. Let yourself. Let others. Everyone deserves that.
People Come Into Our Life For A Period Of Time To Always To Teach Us Something
Thank them, always. Even if they cause you pain. Some lessons hurt, a lot. In fact, during these challenging months, the voice of my workout instructor reminds me “If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you” — true for fitness, true for relationships, true for life. Each person we meet has been brought to us a gift. Our job is to unwrap it, whatever it may be.
Not Everyone Is Going To Love You Or Your Choices
Your responsibility is to love you and your choices. Your tribe will find you. If you live your life according to your values, and you make choices in alignment with them, the right people will be attracted to you and you will gradually ensure you are surrounded by people who are your best fit. Keep doing your thing. I have seen this so beautifully over the years. It’s soothing when you look at your closest friendships and relationships, are able to evaluate and have a beautiful testimony.
Minimize The Drama
Everyone has limited energy, especially when going through a hard time. Let’s preserve our energy for our goals, passions, purpose, and doing more good. You do not have to attend every drama you’re invited to. Decline the invitation and keep moving.
If you feel you’re getting sucked into drama—gossip, or creating conflict where there doesn’t need to be any, take a step back and pull away. Keep yourself focused on your needs, your passions, and your purpose.
It’s Okay To Gently Drift Away From People
If your intuition or gut says someone isn’t right for you anymore, listen carefully. Energy is real. Although, it can be painful putting yourself first is also important. Let it go, let nature do its thing.
Relationships, Friendships, Partnerships Don’t Work Unless We Do
Don’t assume that just because someone has been in your life for years, they are going to want to stay there. These are precious, treasured, cherished interactions that require thoughtful investment, attention, love, and care.
If you want someone in your life, show them. Spend real time with them, genuinely check in on them, do your best in your own unique and special way to help them wherever you can, have fun with them, cry with them, celebrate with them, and please catch the bus with them.
We are all just walking each other home.
Who are you walking with?
You have to really be in someone’s life in order to stay in someone’s life.
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